The Neon Hippo

“To continue in English press 1, para Español….” I hate it! Just pick up the damned phone. I don’t want to go through menu after menu, enter my account info, tell you what my problem is and then when I finally get to a real person you ask me for all the information I just gave you. AARRGGH! Why did I waste all that time with your machines if they don’t bother to tell you anything?!

Is customer service dead? If you want me as a customer for life, just pick up the phone when I call. I know it costs more to have a bunch of live operators than these automated systems, but if you want to stand out from the crowd, have a real person answer the phone when I call and have that real person be able to actually help with my problem. How about asking me why I’m calling then connecting me to the proper department or person instead of making me try to figure out your stupid menu system. Half the time I end up with someone who can’t help and I have to do it all over again making different choices on the menu (“Oh, you should have pressed 7 for telephone but no internet without inside wire maintenance, here, I’ll put you back in the queue and be sure to select 7 when you get to step 9”).

The other day, I needed to call the phone company about an outage and after going through all the nonsense, I was told that “we’re connecting you now…” and then I’d get hung up on. This happened 4 times until I finally just gave up and starting hitting “0” until someone came on the line. (”We’re sorry, that was an invalid choice.”) Even then, I had to call back several times because they kept having me go outside and trudge through the snow to be sure the problem wasn’t inside my house.

I’m so tired of being treated like an account - treat me like a person! I remember the good old days when you could walk into the bank and be greeted by name. When you needed a loan they considered factors other than your credit score. There was a personal and business relationship, now I’m just an account number with a credit score. It’s as if my name or who I am as a person is totally irrelevant to anyone other than family and friends.

I know the world has changed, but I truly miss the days of personal customer service. Nowadays, the customer isn’t always right, in fact many times you’re treated as if you are completely wrong about everything. If their computer says you’re white but you’re really Hispanic, then you are white. The customer is always wrong unless he can prove otherwise. “It’s right here in the computer, sir. I’m afraid I’m going to have to charge you for the family plan. Are you sure you don’t have kids?”