Neon Hippo

The Ramblings of a Superfluous Man

Archive for July, 2011

Excuse Me, But Are You Dead?

July 16, 2011 By: admin Category: Uncategorized No Comments →

I took my dog for our typical walk this morning, but it turned out to be anything but typical.  As we got to the empty field where I usually let him run off leash, I saw what appeared to be someone lying on the ground at the end of the clearing.  Instead of letting the dog loose, I kept him on his 20 foot lead and we approached slowly.  I hollered out to the man to ask if he were OK, but no response.  We got closer and closer.  It was starting to rain a little and here’s this guy lying there flat on his back, feet pointing out with his head on his bicycle leaning kind of forward but facing us as we approached.  His eyes were closed, but there was no sign of life and no response to me asking louder and louder, “Are you OK?  Hello!  Hello?”  The dog was focused on him, too.  We got about 20 feet away and I got this sick feeling in my stomach that he wasn’t sleeping and I didn’t want to see anything gross, so we turned around to go back the other way.  I can hardly handle seeing a dead squirrel along the road, I’m not sure if I can handle coming across a dead body.  I stopped and looked back – yelled at him again and finally went and finished the walk.  I decided that I’d give him a little time and go back in a while and if he were still there, I’d try shaking him to see if he were dead or alive, then call the police to come get the body.

I came home and did a search on what to do if you find a body.  I thought about it and felt guilty wondering if the guy needed some help and I just left him there.So a little more than an hour later, I got the dog and headed out the door.  As we got to the end of the street, I could see him still lying there and still in the same position.  We headed toward him, but I wimped out.  I was convinced this was a dead body and I really didn’t want to see it up close and personal.  So I did what any wimp would do… I rang the doorbell of the last house before the field – the guy who mows it and makes it so I can walk my dog down there.  He came to the door and I said, “I don’t really know how to say this, but I think we have a body at the end of the clearing and I don’t know what to do.”  I told him how freaked out I was by it and how we’d seen this guy a little over an hour ago and it didn’t look like he’s moved.  My neighbor was barefoot, but set out across the field to check it out.  He got a little closer than me, but you could tell he was freaked out by it too.  He turned around and shrugged his shoulders and headed back.  Then he stopped and turned around and went right up to the guy and stood there for a moment then turned to come back.  It turns out the guy was stoned or drunk or something and just looking for a place to ride it out.  What a relief!  What a wimp!  I can’t believe I bothered my poor neighbor and made him to see if it were a dead body or not.

All Was Lost

July 15, 2011 By: admin Category: Uncategorized No Comments →

A couple of my blogs got hacked.  The Neon Hippo was NOT hacked, but while cleaning up the others, I accidentally deleted the wrong database and just like that, Neon Hippo is brand new again!